his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
how drunk are you?
Several
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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