So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
