shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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