On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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