I want to have your abortion
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
