I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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