ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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