I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
