my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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