so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
