you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
