By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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