Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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