White coat. Heels.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
