we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
