He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
