it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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