I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
