i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
