I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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