I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
