and you said cock pushups were impossible
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
