Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
