I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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