Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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