Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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