I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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