Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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