Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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