I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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