And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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