my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
