When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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