Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize