look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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