I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
