My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it glows. i had to have it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
