just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he thought i was a dude.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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