im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How does one acquire holy water?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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