Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
