Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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