i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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