Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
