Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
