Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
