It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
