I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
