got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize