do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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