i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
