You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
