If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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