Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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