so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
