I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
