There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize