I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
