I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
