I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Even my vagina gasped.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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