i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
