My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize