sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
