It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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