Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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