they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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