I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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