i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
