Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
