Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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