She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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