I've blown a few things in my day
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
