Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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