the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
