Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
