i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
