I love black thongs
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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