i barfeds in our rink
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
