Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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