all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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