Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
