Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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