So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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