But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
