I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
